Not happy – I think my company blocked my streaming Chinese radio. I’ll be so bored at work.

 

Coming back from vacation, all my worries and thoughts arise once again. There are so many things I need to settle. But it would be alarming to do all of them. They include:

 

• Settling volunteer times (do I still want to volunteer? It appears not since it’s time consuming. Maybe once everything calms down and I’m a new peaceful person, I will start)
• Tending to my family (how much family time do I give them? Do I need to cut down a lot of my personal time?)
• New job (need to start searching at home, but right now I’m catching up on downloading all the episodes I’ve missed from vacation. Not to mention my aunt is hogging my laptop half of the time, and I only get less than 1 hr of internet time a day)
• Lily (before my grandma’s diagnosis I promised her that I would share a lot of the wedding preparation workload with her. Now she knows I’m not quite “here” so she’s doing the work. I still need to take time to go makeup artist shopping with her, and going to NYC with her) Also need to help plan her Bachelorette, which I don’t want to plan because I don’t do anything fun anyways
• Telling my dad that his mother has colon cancer

 

I guess that’s about it for now. To do all that in a month is a little hectic for me. And to also have these 5 thoughts evolve around my head every day, the pressure is pressing down. Hmm, not to mention the little things….oh well shouldn’t think too much. My white hair is coming out really fast and I’m losing my hair.

 

I haven’t talked to my parents for over a year. I read in a spiritual forum that it’s good to disconnect from you family for a short/long period of time because it might mean you are disconnecting from the past karma issues (they are your family this life because of the karmic issues/ties in your past lives). So to disconnect and start a new relationship again, you have disconnected from the past. Everything could be better than before. It is pretty strange that my heart feels it’s not the right time to start talking to them yet. When the time comes I will want to call them. But I have a feeling the time will be up soon….