I hate how you put down the tarot cards for a few months, pick it back
up and nothing is accurate. Too lazy to rebuild the aura, energy
field, reiki, intuitiveness, psyhic part again. Everything works at
once, too much work!

Sent from my iPhone

It was a fun Christmas Eve at Yee’s house despite a lot of thinking whether I should go or not. But luckily my grandmother is free of chemo so we are all “settled” for the holidays. A few things to note from that night:

 

1)      Yee got a flower arrangement from “The Person Who Always Get Under Her Skin” (something like that) for not being able to come

2)      I shared my news of the exciting blind date

3)      My friends laughing at what I showed them (in case this made public to him, not naming incidents or names)

4)      My friends making fun of my name and his name

 

More funny things to share in person!

 

Scorpio (ME!!)

I should send this to all my new friends, or whoever that wants to know more about me. So I don’t need to show them who I am unconsciously – this describes it all:

 

SCORPIO (me!)

Reputed to be the "most powerful" sign of the zodiac, Scorpios lead fate filled lives and have intense and dramatic personal relationships. Even as children Scorpios are often found to be wise beyond their years. Many astrologers call this the sign of the "oldest souls". Old and wise beyond the average, Scorpios often know all the answers, except sometimes; they too often have difficulty finding what they need to develop their own happiness.

Passion, desire and power go hand in hand for Scorpios. Their biggest challenge and test in life is choosing between the power of love and the love of power. Coming to grips with their extraordinary emotional depths and sensitivity isn't easy for those around them. They are different from all other zodiac signs and this difference has them walking, working and loving to a different beat. Others can often live with a Scorpio partner for years, but not really know them. Much to do with a Scorpio remains ever secret. Their eyes often blaze with feelings that words never express, and beware on the days or nights they hide their feelings behind dark glasses, there is likely to be a storm of some kind brewing. When you deal with a Scorpio you have to always deal with them on a psychic intuitive level. They often wear a mask. Too often they say "no" when they really mean "yes". They have contrary natures. Once they find true love they can be the most faithful dedicated of all partners but fall out badly with a Scorpio and you are likely to find they will never forget or forgive.

Most Scorpios are winners. The main thing they have to worry about is their attitudes, which make up their mind powers and can either make or break them. When they are negative about something or someone, or critical of themselves, they can tend to get in their own way.

 

When one is near the end of the road, one always tends to turn towards god or other spiritual figures, asking for protection. But when one used to be healthy, would he or she turn towards god? I guess that’s why they encourage you to pray regularly.

 

I guess it makes sense why you have to pray regularly for the god to protect you. Another method I know that works is, make a promise to change in exchange for the protection. And if whatever wish you asked for come true but you didn’t keep your promise, the punishment would come.

 

Grandma’s operation is tomorrow, but the surgeon called to request her to stay overnight today. Her blood pressure is abnormally low, and they want to make precautions and give her IV’s as necessary. This phone call kinda threw us off, and yesterday, my grandmother started passing out red envelopes for Christmas. This is not a good indication, she shouldn’t have done that, that would upset us more. Right now she is in the hospital, just had a blood transfusion. Both of my aunts are staying overnight to help her. I feel sorry that they have to do that. But I would do the same thing too, if I have the time.

Not happy – I think my company blocked my streaming Chinese radio. I’ll be so bored at work.

 

Coming back from vacation, all my worries and thoughts arise once again. There are so many things I need to settle. But it would be alarming to do all of them. They include:

 

• Settling volunteer times (do I still want to volunteer? It appears not since it’s time consuming. Maybe once everything calms down and I’m a new peaceful person, I will start)
• Tending to my family (how much family time do I give them? Do I need to cut down a lot of my personal time?)
• New job (need to start searching at home, but right now I’m catching up on downloading all the episodes I’ve missed from vacation. Not to mention my aunt is hogging my laptop half of the time, and I only get less than 1 hr of internet time a day)
• Lily (before my grandma’s diagnosis I promised her that I would share a lot of the wedding preparation workload with her. Now she knows I’m not quite “here” so she’s doing the work. I still need to take time to go makeup artist shopping with her, and going to NYC with her) Also need to help plan her Bachelorette, which I don’t want to plan because I don’t do anything fun anyways
• Telling my dad that his mother has colon cancer

 

I guess that’s about it for now. To do all that in a month is a little hectic for me. And to also have these 5 thoughts evolve around my head every day, the pressure is pressing down. Hmm, not to mention the little things….oh well shouldn’t think too much. My white hair is coming out really fast and I’m losing my hair.

 

I haven’t talked to my parents for over a year. I read in a spiritual forum that it’s good to disconnect from you family for a short/long period of time because it might mean you are disconnecting from the past karma issues (they are your family this life because of the karmic issues/ties in your past lives). So to disconnect and start a new relationship again, you have disconnected from the past. Everything could be better than before. It is pretty strange that my heart feels it’s not the right time to start talking to them yet. When the time comes I will want to call them. But I have a feeling the time will be up soon….

 

I’m anticipating a busy December. Between juggling work and home, I could possibly be starting volunteer again. Have to start looking for jobs, and having my aunt hogging my computer most of the time, trying to download all the dramas I’ve missed, I don’t know what comes first! Sigh.

Colon Cancer

Yesterday I was all anxious at work, making phone calls to the hospital asking when my grandmother can come home. She’s doing much better, and instead of staying there all alone without language assistance, it’s better off she goes home. At around 2, I finally knew that she can leave, but I have to go back with her on Wednesday to see the surgeon.

 

After hearing that she can come home, I felt totally relieved, no longer feeling the anxiety from whole morning. I went to pick her up, and the surgeon wanted to talk to me to talk about the surgery, then he said “to remove the cancer”. I heard that and I was puzzled, thinking maybe he just said cancer in general. After I hung up, Dr. Walter Lee, grandma’s primary doctor came and we questioned him about the tumor. He then told us it’s cancer. When he came it was so casual, and when he said it, it just didn’t sound formal enough. Sigh. She’s going to need chemo and radiation after surgery.

 

Went home and my HK aunt called. She’s planning on coming back to U.S. to take care and spend time with grandma, for 3 months without pay. My aunt and I are relieved that we get some family support, because with us going to work, it’s hard for us to come back and cook for both of my grandparents. Plus my grandma is requesting for the Chinese soups – which take more than 2 hours to cook. It’s easier to cook for just the 2 of us – we are younger so we can just eat whatever. But the older people need nutrition, so we have to cook fish, meat, veggies, plus soup. It’s a lot of work!

 

Have to be prepare for a different lifestyle from now on. It’s such an inappropriate time to travel. I’m starting to think - What if the operation fails? The chances are low, but what if like freddy, something unexpected happens? My aunt wants to be here in case something happens, just like freddy. So I think that’s what she is thinking about. I used to trust operations thinking that they must be successful. After what happened to Freddy, I think I have to prepare for the worst. I’m so glad my aunts are coming. With her here, everyone is relieved.

Just when I put Reiki aside, it comes back to my life again

So I haven't done reiki for more than a month. And yesterday when my
grandma was doing the colonoscopy, I talked to a nurse there and i
told her there's no parking at Brigham and Womens. Then I told her I
volunteer there, she asked what and I said Reiki. Like everyone's
reaction, they were amazed that I know reiki. She asked me to do reiki
on her, and she said her pain went away. She loved me so much that she
kept touching my hair and kept saying I'm so cute. She's really nice.

So now I'm sitting here and my grandmother is vomitting. I decided to
do reiki on her. She closed her eyes but after a while she caught on
and started to peek. So I stopped. But she did stop vomitting
afterwards.

Sent from my iPhone

My aunt from Florida is flying here to help taking care of her. I now
understand that it's hard to take care of a patient. It's like you
feel bad for leaving her alone but you have other things to do. It's
better if the patient speaks English, otherwise you feel double the
guilt for leaving her there.

I feel stranded. I'm the only one who has a car, so I'm stuck. It's
good that my aunt comes so I don't have to worry about leaving
everyone for vacation.

Sitting in the hospital bites, it makes me fall asleep. I hate how we
want to talk to the nurse and we can't her. We hit the call button and
it took 15 min got someone to come and it's not our nurse. Where is
the damn nurse! We turned around to ask more questions and she was
gone. Is she slacking off?sigh...

Sent from my iPhone

Grandma went into the hospital, all of my aunts cried as soon as they
heard the news. I was a little shaken up, because my grandma told me
before that she didn't want surgery, she just wanted pain killer and
then die slowly.

But saying it before it happened and knowing something has happened is
2 different things. When I told her there's a tumor in there, and that
she's too weak and anemic to go home that night, it occurred to her
that she is in pretty serious condition, and if she doesn't have
surgery, she will die from it. She looked at me wide eyed, I could
tell that she's not ready to be separated from us that soon yet.

Preparing for the Europe trip

it's funny when you try to google "how to travel to Europe in
fashion", you get lots of advices on how to not scream American by not
wearing the wring clothing - white, bulky sneakers, shorts, t-shirts,
and maybe polo shirts. Thank god I'm not packing any of these! Well, I
was actually planning to pack my bulky sneakers, but FORGET it. I will
be a fashionable tourist, and not let the Europeans look down on
Asians - lol.

Wait - I guess someone traveling with us is going to wear all these
fashion faux pas - Jason!!!! Hmm I'm staying away from him. Another no-
no is baggy pants or jeans (sigh). He's defintely going to wear some t-
shirts - please bring more shirts this time.

Hope he sees this, hahaha.

Sent from my iPhone

Now I have a new thing to worry about, discovering a new fear - seeing
my grandparents health starting to fail, body parts started breaking
apart. Seeing their parts of the body breaking little by little is
kind of scary.

So years ago my grandma found blood in her urine and stool, the doctor
asked her to see the specialists, I took half a day to go with her,
but it actually took longer than we thought. The doctor told us we had
to go back another day to do more tests, she started to feel bad for
taking my time and refused to come back.

Now years later it's gotten worse, she feels pain almost every other
day, she finally agreed to go back. I told her we should've gone years
ago and now trying to treat it when it's gotten worse is worse. But
before she just thought she would die rather than treating for
anything, so she wouldn't have to bother us. My grandpa told her that
she can't die that easily, just dying naturally like she wanted. It
could've given us a lot more trouble later, so I guess she got it now.
I don't think my grandpa wants my grandma to die first because he
can't take care of himself.

And my grandpa's hearing is starting to fail. We are going to have a
hearing test for him.

Reaching 80, I guess it's normal to start having failures. I think
they will reach at least 85, and if I'm right, 90. But by 90 I think
they would be pretty broken up. Sigh.

Sent from my iPhone

Beautiful lyrics � sung by Sherman Chung, song name: A Letter to Myself

 

�自己的信

作曲/填�：Angela Aki

改��：周耀�

�曲：�浩文

��：�浩文

很相信能成就大�   很相信能炫耀自己

很�心   �天天很多美好的派�

�封信�留住大志   �封信�提示自己

�得低   是心中很多似�的�碎

�疑我�天�多�   令我�了一句不怕流�

�疑我永�不�累   就�十行列明十���

＊�我�出新世界   交出真�性

   假使想�   必�找到��伴�

   突然十年便�去   方知�月冷漠似~水

   就算��不��   ��不��

   偏偏想笑   竟�得到灰暗情�

   默然����去

   一句一句太乾脆

一�一�已粉碎

祝福我能����   怎�我�奴役自己

不甘心   在天天很多�失的��

�封信如明亮大�   �封信能明白自己

�得低   但怎��低理想的散去

�疑我�天�多�   令我�了一句不怕流�

�疑我永�不�累   就�十行列明十���

Repeat ＊ ＊

一�一�已粉碎

很相信能成就大�   很相信能炫耀自己

很�心   �天天很多美好的派�

 

 

Translation:

 

Letter To Myself:

 

I believe that I can love and be proud of myself

I know it's greedy, but I wish that I can have a lot of good parties everyday

I'm writing a letter to keep my ambitions, to remind myself

Write down every little detail in my heart

 

I wonder how old I was when I wrote "do not cry" in the letter

I wonder if I'm never tired, writing down the top 10 accomplishments:

 

Let me come out of a new world, show my real personality

If I want to love, I will find my love

Ten years have past already, I realized that the times had been slow and cold

Even though my handwriting won't change, the paper won't crease

My emotions are gray even when I try to smile

 

Reading this from the beginning

Every sentence seems dry

Every dream shattered.

 

I wish I can travel to every country � but why am I still working like this?

I can't stand that I am losing track of it day by day

This letter is like a bright mirror, making me understand myself

I could write it, but why did I put it down?

 

I believe that I can love and be proud of myself

I know it's greedy, but I wish that I can have a lot of good parties everyday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FW:

 

Just thought of a memory:

 

I was having a 4 day vacation with my ex to Canada, it was our first away trip with just the 2 of us. It was a sweet trip. During the trip something happened that made us had a big fight, and 2 girls from the same tour happened to be my ex’s acquaintance. During this whole trip, both girls asked me to dump him so many times.

 

It happened when the tour guide found out that her phone ran out of battery in the morning. She needed to use her phone to keep contact with the bus driver and other things during the day. She came up to us because we were friendly with her and we were around the same age, and she asked the 4 of us if one of us could lend her a cell phone for the day. My phone back then was with Verizon so it had no sim cards. The other girl said the same thing and the other girl didn’t want to lend  her phone because she said she wanted to use it. Without thinking I volunteered my ex’s cell phone to her. I thought that 1) I had my cell phone so he could use mine if needed; 2) we were in Canada anyways so we didn’t need to use a phone; 3) the tour guide really needed a phone! Otherwise the whole trip would be ruined. The tour guide was really relieved when someone was actually so nice to lend her his phone to a stranger.

 

I was happy that we got to help someone out who was in need. But my ex didn’t feel the same way. He was pissed that I offered so he kept telling the tour guide that he had a lot of information in his phone, that there’s no privacy. But I didn’t get his hint so I kept telling them there’s no problem, just take the phone for the day. After the tour guide took the phone, all relieved and happy that her problem was solved, my ex got angry and asked why I didn’t ask for his permission and just volunteered his phone up. I just wanted to help her and I am not the selfish kind, so I didn’t realize that my boyfriend actually did not want to help her. He thought that it’s her own problem that she doesn’t have a phone, so she had to deal with it. He didn’t see the other girls volunteer, so he said, why he should volunteer then.

 

It didn’t occur to me until that day that he’s selfish. But it didn’t occur to me until 5 or 6 years later that he is selfish. He didn’t talk to me for almost the whole day, and the 2 girls kept telling him to stop being mad, because I was very nice to help the tour guide. After that the 2 girls, Wing and Monique, kept telling me to dump him. I thought they were joking and never thought that they were serious. They kept saying that – I guess I finally WOKE UP. I was the blind one. Everyone saw it but me.

 

Did I do anything wrong here? Would you lend your phone if it were you? Or was I the one who’s not normal, or too nice?

 

Just thought of a memory:

 

I was having a 4 day vacation with my ex to Canada, it was our first away trip with just the 2 of us. It was a sweet trip. During the trip something happened that made us had a big fight, and 2 girls from the same tour happened to be my ex’s acquaintance. During this whole trip, both girls asked me to dump him so many times.

 

It happened when the tour guide found out that her phone ran out of battery in the morning. She needed to use her phone to keep contact with the bus driver and other things during the day. She came up to us because we were friendly with her and we were around the same age, and she asked the 4 of us if one of us could lend her a cell phone for the day. My phone back then was with Verizon so it had no sim cards. The other girl said the same thing and the other girl didn’t want to lend  her phone because she said she wanted to use it. Without thinking I volunteered my ex’s cell phone to her. I thought that 1) I had my cell phone so he could use mine if needed; 2) we were in Canada anyways so we didn’t need to use a phone; 3) the tour guide really needed a phone! Otherwise the whole trip would be ruined. The tour guide was really relieved when someone was actually so nice to lend her his phone to a stranger.

 

I was happy that we got to help someone out who was in need. But my ex didn’t feel the same way. He was pissed that I offered so he kept telling the tour guide that he had a lot of information in his phone, that there’s no privacy. But I didn’t get his hint so I kept telling them there’s no problem, just take the phone for the day. After the tour guide took the phone, all relieved and happy that her problem was solved, my ex got angry and asked why I didn’t ask for his permission and just volunteered his phone up. I just wanted to help her and I am not the selfish kind, so I didn’t realize that my boyfriend actually did not want to help her. He thought that it’s her own problem that she doesn’t have a phone, so she had to deal with it. He didn’t see the other girls volunteer, so he said, why he should volunteer then.

 

It didn’t occur to me until that day that he’s selfish. But it didn’t occur to me until 5 or 6 years later that he is selfish. He didn’t talk to me for almost the whole day, and the 2 girls kept telling him to stop being mad, because I was very nice to help the tour guide. After that the 2 girls, Wing and Monique, kept telling me to dump him. I thought they were joking and never thought that they were serious. They kept saying that – I guess I finally WOKE UP. I was the blind one. Everyone saw it but me.

 

Did I do anything wrong here? Would you lend your phone if it were you? Or was I the one who’s not normal, or too nice?

 

美滿的愛情，是當你愛上一個人，然後盡力令對方快樂和幸福。
不美滿的愛情，是當你愛上一個人，然後要對方盡力為你帶來快樂和幸福。

口裏說愛，請先肯定是否真的愛
口說不愛，就請別因心軟而再

愛情，始終也會褪色
愛人，始終也要休息
永遠的追求激情，
永遠的渴求呵護，
最終只會使愛情窒息。

Sent from my iPhone

我覺得我的人緣不是太好，也不是太差。我很幸運遇到身邊對我很好和很關心我的
人。每個和我很要好的人很像和我很有緣份，很像和我前世有很深的關係似的。

我覺得很幸福！


Sent from my iPhone

It's a BOY!

Tiffany at 4.5 months. Saw the ultrasound pictures of the baby. They
said this baby has a huge penis.

We surveyed Tiff's friends and relatives on whether it's a boy or
girl. all but one of them said it's a boy. It's amazing what that baby
gives out as a vibe. When I thought of what gender the baby might be,
all I could imagine is a boy - nothing makes me think it's a girl.
It's like I can see him running and walking already. I could feel that
this one us a little devil. Has his own character, little mean and not
that nice. Let's see if my intuition is right a few years later.

This baby is already making his mom and dad win poker and bingo.
Amazing!

Had a nightmare! Well it wasn't really a nightmare but it kind of
bothered me later on. I dreamt that I saw someone I don't want to see,
so I went around to hide from him. I found that he got up after me,
giving me the impression he's looking for me. Later he finally found
me and before I could tell him to go away, HE was the one to tell me
off! So humiliating!

Sent from my iPhone

I was listening to a program that's similar to a hypnotize cd with
voice and music that guide you to relax. I was at the part where they
say relax your body startingfrom your feet, then up the calves,
thighs, chest, shoulder, neck, then the brain. It said, "imagine every
part of your brain cells holding on to all the memories in your life."
i imagined that part and tears came out of my eyes involuntarily.

This type of crying is different from before - almost like it never
happened to me before. I've cried numerous times in my childhood, but
every time I cried in the pas had come from the heart - the emotional
distress, sadness, from all the hurt and pain.

Today I experienced something I never did before. When the program
talked about brain cells and memories, the tears came out - from the
brain, not from the heart. I didn't feel sad. But tears rolled down my
eyes for no reason.

I was surprised by these tears. I tried to think of an explanation
behind it. I felt like my soul was crying - something that's at the
extraterrestrial level and not the physical level, that's why I didn't
feel sad. That's why I didn't feel the heartache like I used to feel
when I was crying.

Hopefully this opens a path for me to get In touch with my higher self
(another term for soul).
the memories you think you have forgotteng

Sent from my iPhone

My Thursday thru Monday off seemed so long with the weekend added in. I came back to work, got my client company to sign an AEL for all states – and all of my managers and COO are so happy about it! Signing the AEL means we can get extra money for the other non-participating states. My boss said I should be a salesman instead, because I have the highest record of getting companies to sign the AEL! He said this is “amazing” and “notable”.  My other manager said this is “huge”. He’s all smiles. Last time I closed a big audit, my boss gave me a free day off. This time he asked me if I had taken my last free day yet, I said yup. He’s giving me another one this time! So happy!!!!

 

My boss asked me how did I do it….I always give him the answer that I am nice, and they like me. What they don’t know is that I don’t give these companies pressure. I let them feel that I am nice, sensible, and not pushy to get things done. They always said that they are very busy so they can’t get us the documents in time, so I said, ok, take your time, and give them a month to do their work. Yeah, this audit lasted for 4 years…and because I give them such low pressure, they feel obligated to “repay” me. There’s the tactic – don’t push, always be nice, and be fair. That’s how they come to like me and trust me. I don’t give them the sense that we are in a hurry to close to get their money. It’s all mind games. I am good with playing mind games, haha. My wisdom is what got me this far…jk.

My uncle has been here for almost 2 weeks. He’s leaving on Sunday. We did absolutely nothing besides going to Herb Chamber to buy the car, met a friend for dinner and dim sum, and going to Home Depot. He didn’t go shopping, he didn’t go anywhere. He didn’t go out to eat. Mostly during the day he stayed home painting the house and at night going to my grandma’s for dinner. And then before bed he would be reading up on windows and helped my aunt decide what windows to choose.

 

I feel bad that he spent $1000 on plane tickets coming to Boston and didn’t do anything fun. He didn’t complain much. He hasn’t been to Boston for 3 years. And we have done nothing for him. I appreciate the fact that he helped me with the car and helped my aunt paint. But he come here and he should go out and do something to enjoy himself.

 

Aunt B. visiting from Florida. She’s coming this Thursday and leaving next Saturday. These 2 weeks I will be going to the airport 3 times!!

Got my residence parking permit Monday at the City Hall. Never been inside!!! It was an experience haha.

 

Got my fastlane transponder today so I can use it when I pick up my aunt at the airport Thursday. But after I got the transponder, I found out that I have to wait 3 business days to use it. Oh well I guess I have to drive my way into the toll lanes.

 

 

 

I know you people are excited for me. My friends and family are excited for me. But as a new driver and a new car driver I’m not feeling excited. I have the constant pressure of or fear of making mistakes that would make my family lecture me. I’m more at ease by myself. I’m not excited at all.

Heidi's First Car

I know that my decision of buying a car happened 3 weeks ago. But with my HK relatives coming, I had to take the advantage of doing it while they are here. And while they are here, might as well get it earlier so we have a car to go outside the city.

 

I brought up the proposal of buying a car the next day after they arrived. They agreed that it’s the right time – because I’ve saved some money, I’m more matured, and “everyone needs a car in America”. Mainly the reason is that I don’t need to use anyone buy my own money to buy the car.

 

So my 1^st choice of car is a Honda hybrid Insight 2010. It’s compact, futuristic looking, got nice colors, cheap, and it saves gas and the environment. But they immediately think that hybrids are not powerful enough to fit 4 people and some heavy things in the car. They immediately think of it as a family car, that I bought it for family usage primarily. It’s totally not what I had in mind – it’s a personal car that I use it for grocery shopping, for fitting me and my aunt in the car (that’s why I’m paying for it!).

 

So I was disappointed or upset for a day that I have to look all over again. And then my aunt upset me further by telling me Honda is good, just pick cars from Honda. We went to Herb Chambers the next day to look at Hondas and they liked the CR-V – because of the trunk size. The car was bigger than I thought I would drive. I started to freak out, and wished that I had bought the 2^nd hand car from Tiff instead, for $14,000. From the whole showroom I didn’t see anything that I would have died for. But my family’s preference influenced me, and I turned to the Accord because that’s the next best thing there. They are both in the 25k’s. And I figure that I might as well add in the navigation if I want the CR-V because there’s a camera in the back so that put me more at ease with backing up in a bigger car.

 

I had to immediately transfer at least 20k to my account because my family suggested that they lend me money to save on interests. But I didn’t want to owe them anything so I said no, if I had to pay in full, I would use my money. My original budget of 23k from the hybrid is turning into $28 K CR-V – all thanks to my family.

 

We went home and my grandfather told my HK aunt and uncle that he had put $6000 in my bank acct as in a “safe deposit” in case something comes up. Now he said he wants to use that $6000 towards my car. Great. Now they feel that they have a part in my soon to be obsession. Can I reject that offer? Not really….what can I say? That I don’t want your contribution of $6000? but it’s already in my account...

 

So during the next 2 days I had been gathering all the info from Jason on the process of buying cars and reading up on negotiating. He told me to start off by calling dealerships or getting internet quotes. I searched for the nearest 5 Honda dealerships and started to gather quotes from them. And I slowly recognized the patterns of how they try to get information from you and use it to their advantage. I learned what to say and what not to say to them to make them “less tricky”. Like if you tell them you are paying in full, they will give you a higher quote thinking you have money. No matter how you bargain later, you would just bargain from that quote down. If you tell them that you have visited other dealers, they might ask you for your lowest quote and try to match that. I told them my lowest quote was from Boch (known to be the lowest in the industry), they immediately said “why didn’t you buy it from them?” One dealer even told me that they cannot match the quote from Boch.

 

Things I did in the last 2 days (Monday and Tuesday):

 

-          found dealerships and called them to get quotes

-          get insurance quotes from Metlife and Liberty Mutual

-          asked questions about the process of getting the car in the dealership

-          searched for car buying tips www.carbuyingtips.com

-          looked up and learn different kind of fees that the dealership may add in that you don’t have to pay

-          trying to think of ways to bargain with the dealer, and knowing what or what not to say

-          transferring money from banks and making sure I have enough to pay in full

 

Things that I need to do this week:

 

-          bought car insurance – got payments of $94 per month

-          need to go to Liberty Mutual to pick up the Proof of Insurance

-          Bring proof of insurance to the dealership on Friday

-          Pick up the car at 4pm on Friday

-          Receive license plate and inspection sticker

-          Inspect the car myself

-          Make sure what parts are not covered by my extended warranty

-          Apply for a Resident parking permit

 

 

So I still haven’t entail the whole negotiating process yet. We decided to go to Herb Chambers on Tuesday because it’s the end of the month and Honda has a $500 rebate before 9/30. We already knew what Boch quoted us, $26,600 on top of the $500 rebate. So if we want to save us a trip to Norwood, we might as well stop by Herb Chambers to see if they can give us anything close to that $26,600. When I had called on Monday, Herb Chambers told me their quote is $27,050 including destination fee. This quote is the 2^nd best quote I got out of my 5 dealerships. So first I gave them my offer of $26,000. And they kind of laughed and said that their $27,050 is already a very low offer. The manager came to show us his book of all his invoice numbers, of $27,350. Of course we all know it’s not true. So I gave in and told them $26,500. They said no, this is below their invoice price. We were all getting up to leave this place and said we were going to Boch Honda. But my uncle didn’t really want to go to Boch so he said, show the manager $26,500 - the manager said no to $26,500.

 

On a side note, the sales lady asked me all kinds of questions like what I want on the car. Then asked me how I’m going to pay for it. I really didn’t want to tell them I’m paying in full, because I knew there’s a disadvantage. Telling them I’m paying in full means I have money. So I said that’s irrelevant and she’s like of course that’s relevant, we need to know later. So I told them I’m not sure, so in the end I told her I’m paying in full.

 

So there, they saw our weakness. When the manager said no, we raised the question that Boch can save us even more money and we’re going there instead because they have the rebate. My uncle asked the sales woman to show the manager our number of $26,500 again and this time the manager said yes. We all felt very good about the bargain because it is below the Boch quote. But now that I think about it, they did that to make us think that we bargained really well. All these people are tricky! But I guess in the end we only got around $3,300 off the MSRP price. I can’t say we got ripped off but I’m sure we could have gotten a better price going to Boch. I tried to get them to throw in the floor mats. But I asked after we agreed on the price so of course they won’t give it to me anymore. Damn!

 

On picking the car color. I picked a light blue color that I like, and she came back saying that the blue one has 250 miles on it, because they were driving it from the CT dealership to swap cars. I was actually fine with it but my family wanted BRAND NEW car so we had to go with the next preferable color – Tango Red. They didn’t have a tango red in the dealership but I saw one this morning, it’s actually a very very nice color. I was disappointed with the light blue yesterday but now I am satisfied with the color.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Got back to work first thing from furlough was that our company was
acquired by Xerox - as soon as I stepped into the office. It was
exciting because it signifies new hope. But my boss is also optimistic
about our division. What if they don't want unclaimed property
business? I have a hunch that we are fine.

Things are turning better - for my sake at least. Never gone thru an
acquisition during employment before. This will be fun.

Things will still run the way they are at least until march 2010.
Xerox has no time to pay attention to us yet.

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I wanna share the news that I'm getting the Honda CRV (pretty much a
SUV). My experience of getting what I wanted was not that pleasant.
First they don't agree with the hybrid, saying that it doesn't have
enough power to hold 4 passengers.

Then my aunt wanted Honda only for the car, rejecting all other
(affordable) brands.

Today we went into herb chambers to look at Honda cars, and we liked
the Accord and the CRV. They are both in the mid 20k range. They are
thinking in the perspective of getting a family car, that I will drive
them in the future (once a year) - so they want a bigger car. So now
the CRV is in the 28k's and Accord is 25k - they keep thinking for a
few thousand dollars more we can get a better car.

We are leaning towards the CRV cuz it's bigger and better. But now I
am forced to shell out 10k more than my budget. My grandpa gave me
$6000 for the car. I guess I have not much say in this.

I'm not that happy that I'm paying almost 28k for a car with
navigation. It's too expensive for a newbie like me. And they say they
wanna pay in full becuz my aunts cd acct is only paying 2.4% rate and
the financing we asked is 2.9%.

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traumatic experience

I've had a traumatic experience in 5th grade. I was I'm shock for 5
days after it happened and that 5 days had been dazy. I didn't know
what I was doing and my mind just ran that scene over and over again.
After that I tried to push it away and didn't want to remember what
happen. Usually if it's something scary, memorble, you would remember
it forever. But this...I don't remember if it happened once or twice
or the details. It was bad.

I had been sexually assaulted in 5th grade. At the back entrance of my
grandmother's apartment.

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做完reiki, 好像成�人drain�gum. 很累，站了很久。 心�也很累。他���你
�了人的�候， 你的心�是�被�洗的。但我�得我像是用了一日的�袋，要好好
的睡�。

第一次�陌生人做��治�，和有人在旁只�，有�awkward. 下一次只有我自己就
好很多啦.

Poor Taylor. I hate Kayne West!!!

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Still hasn't come. She called me at 1:55 and told me she's at Mass
Ave. Now I remember why Yee and everyone else disliked her so much.
It's hard to like a person who is late every freaking time.

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Late!

Gosh, I know she's always late, that's why I called her to change the
meeting time to 30 minutes later. But it turns out I was 25 minutes
early from our changed time. I've been waiting for 40 minutes now.
She's now 15 minutes late. I swear next time I meet her I'm gonna give
her a fake time!

Orientation starts at 10 am tomorrow and I will be volunteering till
12. Nothing to do afterwards. Maybe I should volunteer another hour if
I'm not too tired. I kind of want to shop around afterwards but it
would be too early for me to go home. I guess I'll go with whatever I
want to do tomorrow.

I already rehearsed what I should say to the patient. I practiced my
gentlest voice. If I almost whisper, my voice is actually very gentle.
But if I talk fom my diaphragm, hahaha.....

1 week until furlough. I'm looking forward to it. Others already got
hit with their 50% cut paychecks. But today we got our bonus check
from 2 quarters ago. I guess they want to use it to compensate for our
cut. Hits 2 birds with one stone. So sneaky.

Been looking at cars. I like the look of the Honda Insight hybrid -
but Tiff said it looks bad and strange...how dare. So I said that
Camrys look ugly. I think that's what she got.

So the first half of the day i was so sure about this car, or getting
a car for a fact. But seeing that hybrids are no that popular makes me
think twice, or my family would be against hybrids, thinking it's
unsafe to depend on battery. So the second half of the day I spent to
look at regular cars, but the ones under 20,000 look bad and the ones
that look good are over 25,000. Now I don't even know if:

1) If I would be approved to get a car
2) if they let me buy a car, will they let me pick my own car?
3) they might raise certain issues like maintenance and stuff for the
hybrid, so I won't get to get my car

I actually need to take a real look at the Insight 2010 first, and
maybe I will change my mind.

I just sold my stocks to get some capital. Yay...

Feeling restless. It's like there's so much I need to do but I have no
motivation to do them. My to-do list is pretty long. Everyday I go
through my to-do list, but everyday my to-do list never diminish.

Restless...restless...restless

So my ex-prom date decided to have a little wedding reception in
Boston, after posting the wedding pictures from Vietnam. Nice for him
to announce it afterwards when everybody got mad at him already. Such
an idiot.

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Imbalance

I notice that when I’m into something, I stop everything I’m doing and get irritated when I get interruptions. I don’t like this. I’m in such a hurry to finish my books. Now I’m done – now what? I have to catch up to my work. Finishing the books leave me an empty feeling, sort of like not wanting it to end, like those long dramas. Keep expecting and wanting more. Everything that I was committed to had been thrown out. There’s such an imbalance to my life…..it takes time bringing it back and bring it back to the equilibrium.

Someone is trying to introduce me to this guy called Sam. He called me
out of the blue so I had to hang up on him. Then next day I sent him a
text Just saying we'll email instead. I haven't heard from him. So
today i told the lady who gave him my number that I don't think he's
the one. She doesn't get it. She thinks that I can just keep trying. I
didn't tell her that when the time is right it will happen. But
whatever, if he emails we can be friends.

Transition
Transformation
Comunication
Trust

These are the same words given to me by 2 different people.

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I dreamt about getting back with him. He was doing everything I want
him to. But his aura suffocates me.

There's no turning back.

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昨日吃了一棵草苺 
今曰吃了藍苺 

人生一曰一曰的過 
回頭看才知曰月流逝

心境平靜的我

忽然發現這樣子也不錯

還不得想每天吃草果呢

 

I looked back at my old notes from the past tarot spreads that I did. I wrote down the cards I got and my interpretation, so I can get back to it later and see if it came true.

 

I did a tarot spread a year and a half ago, when I was still house hunting with Derick. One of my tarot question is my wedding with him. The last card of the spread, which is the final outcome of my marriage with him, is separation or divorce.

 

IT CAME TRUE!!! I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

 

Can’t underestimate Tarot.

 

It's kind of mystical to know that he (the 命中注定）exists somewhere.
You're waiting for him to turn up, anxious to know what he looks like.
You think about when, where, and how you will meet The One. It's sort
of like someone telling you that you have won the lottery, but won't
let you claim the prize yet. Oh how much you want it!

I guess when it comes I can tell you how it feels like to meet The
One. People have come in and out, but you don't have quite the right
feeling that this is the right one yet. But when it comes you would
know immediately. Always trust your heart and instincts.

I'm anticipating that our reunion from the past would be a joyous one.
Waiting for the click to happen.

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Waiting for my 命中注定。 if you believe in fate and past lives, then
you know that whoever you meet this life is somehow connected to you
in the past lives. Then my 命中注定 is pretty much decided from the
start.

No matter what you do or where you go, you will find your 命中注定
eventually. Something will lead you to him or her. You can be here
right now but something will lead you to the other side of the world
to find him.

That, is the forces behind this mystery.

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Meeting with Other Reiki Volunteers

 

Yesterday I went to the BWH to meet with the founder and officers of the Reiki Pilot Volunteer Program. There were 5 of us. There’s another girl around the same age as I, one in her 50’s, one in her 30’s and one Asian woman in her 40’s. We had everyone in different age group but we were all women!! We were all having at least 1 year of experience with Reiki, and we would be the first to start this program.

 

We first spent 10 minutes meditating. Thank god that I was tired so I used that time to rest a little bit. I was surprised that I was able to sit still for 10 minutes without moving or fidgeting. But twice I felt itchy and wanted to scratch myself. After that we had to do Reiki treatments on each other. I got paired up with the Asian lady and I had to do it on her first. The first step I had done it wrong because I wasn’t setting an intention and my Reiki didn’t come for the first 5 minutes. Then I did the whole treatment and I kind of did the sweeping of the aura wrong too….

 

Then I had mine done by 2 people at the same time. It must be fate because afterwards the founder, Pat, who’s also a nurse and Reiki Master, said that I was cooking! I’ll explain what it means later. So I was having Reiki done by the Asian woman Betty and a vocational therapist Debbie. I didn’t really feel much from Betty on my head. I might have felt something at the heart and the solar plexus, that’s it. I can’t really explain what it is, because it’s so subtle that you think it’s your imagination. But I’ve heard enough by other people that you think you imagined it, but you did not.

 

I felt more with Debbie, maybe because her hands were warm? Betty’s hands were cold on the other hand. But I don’t know if it’s relaxing or what, my mind wasn’t everywhere. It was focused on two things – the music and the gentle touch from their hands. After my Reiki was done, I got up and felt light headed. Usually I’m not like that let’s say when I get up from a nap. This one was like as if I was in a trance and I got up and had to shake my head and refocus my eyes and mind. Then the nurse Pat told Debbie that she was very powerful. None of us asked what was going on. But when I talked to Debbie, she told me that Pat can see some wild stuff, like how energy moves, everything! Of course including spirits and other sorts of unimaginable stuff.

 

After we were done showing what we know, Pat explained the rules. No jeans! No open toes! Am I supposed to wear sneakers in a pair of pants? Eeeww….

 

So Pat told me that I was “cooking” when I had Reiki done by 2 people.  I was just laughing but when I went home and thought about it, I knew what she meant. This has happened to me during my Reiki I class in Newton too! The other students were doing Reiki on me and one of the students, who was a physical therapist and can see energy, said she saw smoke coming out of my feet. My Reiki teacher was trying to unblock the energy on my 3^rd eye and she felt a lot of my energy bursting out and she felt so overwhelmed by my energy that she ran to the bathroom. She said it almost made her want to throw up. What Pat was talking about was actually due to these energies trapped inside me. When Reiki was performed on me, it helped release all these trapped energies and that’s what she meant that I was “cooking”! I swear I need more Reiki sessions to get all those out of me, whether it means paying to get it done.

 

I feel pretty bad for some of the volunteers because out of the 5 of us, only I and the Asian woman have a job. The rest are looking for jobs. It kinda makes me feel lucky to have a job.

 

Fears and dreams

Lately whatever I heard on tv or from somebody had been reflected in
my dreams. I forgot what I dreamt 2 nights ago but yesterday...

I was watching tv and the tv host said, if you are dying, what would
you eat for your last meal? Then he answered it doesn't matter what
you eat, but who you would eat with. I was thinking about this
statement, and then I had a dream that night....

All of my friends were in freddy's apartment. Freddy was there too. We
all knew Freddy was dying soon so we all wanted to hang out with him.
We were sleeping on the floor in the apt, we were discussing where to
go tomorrow. Then I was just doing regular stuff that I would do, and
suddenly I cried uncontrollably. I couldn't believe Freddy was going
to die. Then I woke up....

A few days ago me and my aunt were discussing skin cancer. Then in my
dream last night I discovered a mole on my skin, which is skin cancer.

Last year I had some toothache. My tooth felt loose. And I dreamt
that all my teeth slowly fell off one by one...

These dreams are not fun. The emotions were so real that I woke up
thinking it actually happened. Sigh....

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Just got an email that the place where I learned Reiki is closing because of their debt. They are a non-profit and they only rely on membership fees and donations. I knew they are having a lot of trouble surviving and I donated $80 in February when they asked for donations. It’s very sad because they are opened because of the intentions and not for profit. They should have quit the place when they start to get in debt, instead of getting into deeper debt. The founder of this place used to be a finance manager. I guess they want to keep it open as long as possible.

 

Random thoughts

Started the morning with an energy bar, then off to the gym. I didn't
get to do the workouts I intended to, because a trainer approachesd me
and offered to help. So he taught me to use this machine and he
monitored me for 20 minutes. Afterwards he asked me if I want a free
personal training session and I said no. But he dragged me into his
office and gave me his info and took my email address. If he didn't
have the weird chihuahua eyes, I would have considered him. But I
think I'm uncomfortable with all male individuals, because I can't
have this feeling that they might want more than business.

Went to the PF Changs next to Chinatown for lunch. Do not go to the
one at Prudential because the one at Chinatown tastes much better.

Walked straight to Newbury and got a coffee at L'Aroma. Awesome coffee
bur long wait. Well worth the wait and they have all sorts of dessert
and other drinks.

Saw a few people in long boots. Are they from Alaska?

Sale in every store. I wanna buy them all.

$69 plus extra 25% off on selected Seven jeans - cheap! Oh it's at New
York Barneys.

Noticed that J Crew clothes are getting cuter. Must have been that
Chinese designer. The designs have those Japanese cuteness in them.
They were popular a year ago.

Don't know why but I have been very friendly and always striking up
conversations with my waitress, the store cashier, store clerks. I
tried to walk with a soft face and very tiny smiles and found that
they all approached me very friendly. Is it the aura? Or my soft face?
I think in the past I had a very straight face that seemed very angry
on the outside.

I like the change.

I've been trying to look at people in the eye. I have a habit of
avoiding strangers' faces and when I look at them I don't look in
their eyes. People say that lacks self confidence. I haven't successed
yet. Need to work on.

Also need to look at people's faces (and eyes), even passerbys. I
found that I get a strange tingle for guys, and when I look at girls
they smiled at me.

I'm more conscious at what I spend. I avoid anything that costs more
than $45 for a top now. Because I wear them less than 10 times a year.

After a while of shopping, I found that I'm getting dizzy. Next time,
I need to eat a breakfast before workout.

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