When you get older, not only you go to a lot of weddings. I noticed that I start going to more funerals too.  Before 2009,  I’ve never been to any. After 2009, I had been going once every year. This year might be 2….sigh. There are happiness, and there’s life, there’s also departure. A lot of people wonder why we are in this world. If you always live in box, you would always ask this question. Why not live outside of this box ?  If you cannot escape death, why not live life to the fullest and be worry free?

 

I can’t believe I’m not 30 yet and I feel like life is going to just get tougher. C’est la vie!

 

 

Tuition

My brother just emailed me and asked me for $30,000 hkd tuition fee. The way he asked just bothers me. He said it's a new school year and tuition is $30k. If you send me a check, write it in my name cause I have a bank account now.

No thanks, no please. And i don't even know what school he goes to and what major. Even tho he expects me to ask, but when you ask you gotta be more courteous. And it sounds like my mom asked him to do it. A lot of people take loans to go to colleges, and he's asking for the full amount. And it seems like if I send him a check directly, I have to give it to him in full. Cuz last year I only gave him $24k hkd.

Sigh...

Today was chaotic. I guess there’s a first for everything, so there’s no point in writing it. The feeling was a little weird, because I had been thinking what I would do when I get a flat tire for weeks now. I felt that the car has been a little bumpy and had meant to check the tire pressure, for 3 weeks I didn’t get a chance. The moment I had been dreading for has come. It was crazy. Now I learn NOT to think about bad things- they will come to you.

 

Was listening to the radio and heard about a Chinese writer from 1910 – during the Qing Dynasty, even before The People’s Republic of China has formed – had written about the modern society of China – things that would have happened 50 to 100 years later. To make it more simple, he wrote what people called a Science Fiction back then, but everything he said about China had come true. People in the 1910 had treated it as a science fiction, but people who read it now realized it’s somewhat similar to a prophecy.

 

I think it would be fun for me to randomly write things down that might happen in the future, say, with 1-3 years, and see if it came true. It doesn’t have to be things that are logical, it could be anything wild, because things unexpected always happen.

 

That would come later….

It’s been a while since I update anything. I think last update was before Lily’s wedding.

 

Sometimes you don’t know how good or bad a person is until something happens. I guess for Lily and I, the wedding drew us closer than before.

 

When she asked me to be her bridesmaid, I did it as a favor because she doesn’t have many friends, and I had seemed like a responsible and trustworthy person compared to her other friends who only go to nightclubs for fun. That was one of the reasons why she picked me. But after the wedding, she realized that I helped her with her wedding 100%. I focused on helping her and everything I did, was for her wedding. I never left her side and I helped the day progress smoothly. She shared everything with me, how the in-laws and the family treated her, how they had to deal with money issues. There’s no one else who know as much as the bride, groom, and the family. Effort, money, heart, council – I did it all. I treated it like it was my own wedding.

 

During her honeymoon to China, she brought back a ton of gifts for me. The amount was way beyond my imagination. I was surprised by the volume of things she bought me. They were not expensive – a lot of them around $1 usd – but there were so many that I felt like it was my own trip to China. The things she bought me ranged from jewelry to hair accessories to keychains to cell phone stickers to eyelashes to bra straps to – Chinese mantras, Buddha poster, and Buddha charms. Lucky that we had similar tastes (she influenced me to like lace, bows, flowery patterns), whatever Lily wanted to buy, she just bought similar set for me. And since they were cheap, she just bought double, without having to do extra shopping for me. But great! I got over 15 items of souvenirs….a first out of anyone I knew.

 

China’s goods are definitely way cheaper than HK. Makes me want to go crazy shopping!

 

Oh - and I had been trying to say that – when you want to have a really good relationship with someone, it doesn’t just come naturally or out of nowhere. Usually these relationships start from one side. Then the other side feels what you did and return more “favors”. As long as you don’t feel like you are wasting your efforts for someone (help her without asking for something in return), the person can feel it and return the same sentiment to you. Once both of you are at the level that you can sacrifice time and efforts for each other, then this relationship will bloom. Sometimes these relationship will distant a bit later on, it won’t matter because you shared some experience together and held a memory together – you will remember each other for life, cherish this memory for life. And if there’s a chance, you two can continue where you left off easily, because the bond had been created once before. This is what I learned. I’ve taken another step through life.

 

 

So much to worry about, now that there’s only 1 week until my aunt leaves, 2 weeks till the wedding. First, I need to start planning how much help does my grandmother need. I don’t think she’s even in the condition to think clearly now, let alone planning a dinner for us when we come back. I’m not really worried about going home to cook dinner. I can leave work early and cook up a meal in an hour. But on the weekends – do I need to go home at 4 pm every Saturday to cook dinner, ending my dates at 3 pm? Sigh. My grandma is grieving right now, for the departure of her daughter, when her daughter is still here. So she will be in a worse shape when she is not here anymore.

 

Now with 2 weeks to the wedding, time is flying by. Lily’s got her own stuff to worry about, like cleaning her condo, getting the furniture all delivered, moving into the condo by this week. Next week she would have her fresh flowers delivered and she has to make her own BOUQUETS and BOUTINNIERES. That is crazy. She would only have next Weds to Friday to do them. What if it fails? Arrggh…too scary and dangerous. That is one big thing that I’m worried about.

 

Next big thing is the toast that I need to make. I need to write a nice, presentable speech so everyone will be touched at the wedding. Wait…no I’m not aiming for the touching part to happen. At least if it sounds nice and I can get by with it, that’s fine. Someone asked me if I’ll have stage fright. Even though it’s been a while since I’ve been on stage, but I’ve got plenty of experience!!! I’m not worried at all. The tip is not to imagine the scene too much in your head. When you do it, just go up and do it. But of course, rehearse a few times out loud on your own.

 

Hopefully there’s only 3 things that I need to worry about, for now.

 

Sometimes when something ended – do you think it has ended, without any trace left behind? It’s going to come back some day, when you least expect it. And it will haunt you, bother you, remind you, and probably bring back the pain and reminiscence of the suffering. Ha… and it will also haunt the people around you. Sigh.

 

Sleepless nights, on something that did not even happen to you

Scary dreams, on something that will not happen

Hallelujah!

 

 

 

So many things going on lately. Every weekend is full. Everyone has shit going on. Yee is buying a car, Vinni is buying a house, Jason bought a car, Tiffany is having a Chinese baby shower, Ivy is leaving Boston!

Oh wait, the wedding is a month away and why am I still not on a diet?

It’s been a while since I updated here. March was a busy month, and I think April is also busy. May would be busy too up till Lily’s wedding. Sigh…..I wish I have the freedom to do stuff after work without my family complaining that I won’t be eating dinner at home and things like that. With only Saturday being free, of course every weekend would be busy. I had been jamming events into Saturdays – birthdays, bachelorette, NY C-town, Farewell, visiting the newborn. What else – the wedding!! Then after that would be the Chinese baby shower. Oh did I mention my money is pouring out because of all these events? Not to mention shopping for clothes for these events.

 

Things are looking good to complete one of my goals before I turn 30. I’m seriously counting – attending 10 weddings! I think I have 4 weddings to go to this year. So that’s only 6 more left until I turn 30 – which is next year! I guess 6 more weddings would be impossible. Wait, there’s one more in California….I might consider going (by myself) if there’s incentive for me to go. Things might get gloomy for me after this year because I might be running out of friends who are getting married.

 

Yee made a comment saying how it’s pathetic that Lily doesn’t have that many friends to attend her Bachelorette. I imagined my own bachelorette. I’m not sure if I will surpass her in the number of attendance. Lol.

 

I wish I have 2 Saturdays in a weekend. Sigh.

 

Moving into Quincy

Last night was crazy, I had a hard time falling asleep and I woke up at 4:45am and started thinking about which way I should take to go on the Masspike, didn’t fall back asleep until an hour later. I left the house giving myself 45 minutes to get to work. In the end it just took 30 minutes. Got stuck in Brighton for 15 minutes, going through school zones and local traffic. Definitely need to go another route to avoid the school zones.

 

Masspike was a breeze and 93 South was a little crowded, still going strong with 45 miles an hour on average. I made it to work 15 minutes early! But I think if I leave 15 min late, I would be late for work. Let’s experiment….

 

Got to work and it was like going to first day of school. Everybody was looking around, reporting things that malfunction. admiring all the new furniture, unpacking our own things. People walk around, pass by and look at each other, saying hi to each other excitedly.

 

Well it was fun at first, until everybody finished unpacking. It started to get annoying when I, sitting next to the hallway, stare at people walk by. I looked at every person who walked by. 2 managers sat behind me and all they can do it raised their heads 3 inches and they could see what I’m doing with my computer. I also sit next to the printed so my managers would walk by me 30 times a day to get things. Sigh. This office has no privacy. When someone is talking from 5 rows away, you will her it. I don’t know how I can get used to this.

 

 

HK best friend

My Hong Kong elementary school best friend just found me on Facebook. I had been looking for her for a while, but I had no idea what her English name is….she was Debbie Wu, then changed to Cherri Wu, and now back to Debbie again. Gee….but I am glad that I get my ex-best friend back.

 

She came to Springfield, MA for boarding school during high school, and then she applied to UMich…and we lost contact after that. It felt weird to see her again years later and when we met, we didn’t have much to say to each other. I guess our relationship from now on would be just thru facebook. From her pictures it seems like she got married last year….she is beautiful, still looks the same as 15 years ago. She is the most beautiful friend I’ve ever had. =)

 

Isn’t it funny, I called her so much back then that her phone number in HK is imprinted in my brain! I guess our feelings for each other back then wasn’t light, because she was crying hard when I was leaving HK…I love that girl. But then everything is different now….

March 2010

So much going on in March, it scares me thinking about it! Every weekend is packed!

 

As it gets closer to our office move to Quincy, I realized that driving to work might affect a lot of things too…..

 

If I meet people for dinner, I would have to drive out.

Friday nights traffic might be pretty bad……

I can start volunteer after work – drive out to the hospital and then home doesn’t sound so bad anymore. No longer have to wait for buses.

More expense incurring for driving and parking.

 

So far there are advantages and disadvantages. Gosh….i can’t afford to have any more expense. My money is disappearing each month!

To be where we are today, needs to be built upon our past. Without the past we will never be here. So I do not regret my past. Although I know he had suffered, but that has to be meaningful somewhat, to his life, past and future. He needs to accept his past, however painful it was, so he can enjoy the new light, the break of dawn.

 

 

Got a big scratch in the right corner of my car. It’s very noticeable and the paint came off. What the heck happened!!! I was clueless about what happened and my aunts are going to kill me. SIGH.  5 months and I got a big dent. I think in a few years my car would be all scratched up. I have no confidence in driving anymore. Even if this accident is not my fault….still no confidence.

Received a phone call today and hear the news of the death of Eugene Cheng, announced dead on 1/29/2010 at 10 pm. He had been ill for a long time and he was unwilling to go to the doctor. Until 2 or 3 weeks ago, he had a huge loss of appetite, unable to eat for days. Under her daughter's persuasion he finally had the endoscopy, and discovered pancreatic cancer. Cancer at the pancreat is really hard to cure. Finally the doctor said the pancreat cannot be operated on at all. At first he was estimated to have months left, but his organs were failing him and he only had days. The whole family did not expect this news.

It was sad - certainly reminded me of someone again.

Eugene, rest in peace.

Eugene, Victoria Optical, owner

Literature

Sigh…people are making fun of me for never reading the Three Kingdoms. I feel so low. Sigh…..I’m not happy. Schools in HK never made me read it, until 2 or 3 years from my age when I came here. When I came here I focused on school and school readings. I’m proud that I read Shakespeare, Jane Eyre, Charles Dickins, Emily Bronte, I forgot who else….probably one book that I regretted not reading (class not required) was Pride and Prejudice. But I never had the “quest for knowledge” to actually pick it up and see what it’s about. Same for these classic Chinese literatures. Why ridicule me for not knowing it, just because I know how to read Chinese, sigh…..

 

And now these people who made fun of me said that even if school didn’t require, your parents would require you, unless they have no education so they won’t make you read these. Sigh……

 

Not feeling that good.

 

Partner qualities

After dating site questionnaires, I realize I never knew or think
about what I want. It's time to have a list.

It's better to pick out the qualities you must have or can't stand
before you even start picking a boyfriend. Since I never thought about
it, I never knew what to answer when people asked me what I want.

Physical qualities:
One of the following: height or white skin
Preferably nice (single lid) eyes, tall nose

Personal traits:
Good humor, respectful, gentleman, kind, giving, willing to help
people, able to notice my moods (and be able to comfort me)
Able to read or understand me is a ++

Interests:
Able to take my interests well
If he likes sports, try not to force me into it
Can be sporty, but not into hiking, motorcycles
Preferably like to be indoors

Able to accept my traits/interests:
Reiki
Shopping, spending
Drama/music taste (have the same tastes, a +)
The traditional side of me
That I'm not ambitious

The list cannot be too long, otherwise you'll never find anyone!

Driving home today was pretty bad. Had to drop Vinni and Yee off. Towards going to Yee's house, my windshield got really clouded and i couldn't see the roads at all. It was my first time driving in a snow storm, so I thought I had to wipe the windshield just like rain. But the more I wipe the more cloudy it got. I was busy driving so I couldn't figure out whether to turn on the heat, to wipe, or squirt the windshield wipers. In the end, I survived the drive to Yee's house and we used the cloths to wipe it clean. Sigh...it was a little unsafe.

I planned to pick up my aunt at 10:30, but I got there at 5 past 11. I had to hurry home because they were waiting for me and I hadn't call, didn't want to make them worry. The drive was dangerous, that's all I can say. No more driving in a snow storm next time.